Happy National Buffet Day! Yes, today is a “holiday” dedicated to eating as much as you feel like from a huge table of options. Where did the day come from? Who’s behind it? All those questions and more are swirling around my head. And if you were to declare a day National Buffet Day, would you put it so close to the actual holidays, a period of time in which food is hardly in short supply? At any rate, we thought it would be the ideal opportunity to outline the types of buffet fanatics, so you can figure out which one you are.

Roast Beef Rebecca

Rebecca holds out for the carving station. She typically starts very small, with a tiny green salad to which she has allotted about one-ninth of the plate’s area, saving the vast majority of space for as many slices of roast beef, turket and lamb legs that she is allowed to take, all covered with a salty au jus. She also puts a couple potatoes on her plate, largely for ornamental purposes.

Raw-Food Randy

Randy likes the raw items. He stacks crudités on his plate like he’s a five-year-old collecting Lego. Colourful carrots, red pepper, cauliflower and celery sticks, plus a few messy spoon-throws of ranch dressing and hummus. But it’s not just about the veggies: Randy also digs smoked salmon, prawns, pickles—anything uncooked.

Salad Steve

Salad Steve is excited by the early buffet platters—the salads—which he piles high on his plate despite the sneers of other buffet aficionados who are holding out for meatier horizons. But Steve knows the importance of the nutrients in salads, and he likes the variety that is typically available, from standard tossed house salad to Caesar, coleslaw, Caprese, Thai mango salad and many more. He usually ducks out of the buffet halfway through because his plate is full, with pieces of lettuce falling to the floor as he makes his way back to his seat, smiling with delight. Sometimes he throws some shrimp on top for protein and tang.

Everything Evelyn

Evelyn doesn’t discriminate. She likes a little bit from columns A through ZZ. But she’s smart about it. She takes a small scoop of almost everything, so she can taste it all, but she doesn’t end up overloading. Everyone looks with envy at her well-decorated plate when she arrives back at her seat, wondering how she did it again.

Fruit Felicia

Fruit Felicia comes out for breakfast buffets, and she knows exactly what she wants: fruit. Strawberries, melon, cantaloupe, honeydew, heck, even grapes—anything and everything she can’t get at home so ripe and sweet and delicious. She piles up the colours and the flavors, and washes it down with a few cups of black coffee.

Super Selective Ryan

Super Selective Ryan is very careful about what he puts on his plate. On his first pass of the buffet he’ll pick up a few things, filling maybe 50% of his ceramic surface area. Then he’ll go back again when the line has dwindled, and pick up a few more items—just as selectively as before. Maybe he’ll return to the dishes he really enjoyed, maybe he’ll try something new. No one really knows where he’s headed—he’s that crafty and smart. By the fourth of fifth pass you know what he really liked, because he makes a B-line to that item—to get just one more leg of lamb, let’s say.

Which one do you think you are? Let us know in the comments section and be sure to check out this post to help you eat better at buffets from our partner Dai Manuel.

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